This is going to be a harsh post. Lepas aku post ni, jangan ada sesiapa pun kawan aku yang nak menggedik bagai terasa. Im not stating names so dont feel like im talking about you. I won't tell.
It is about my girlfriend. Yes people, a she & not a he. I think i rarely have problems with my boy-friends, as you know boys dont create dramas and act bitchy ( well, some does ) but yes, most girls create dramas, every single day.
We've been friends since primary school. At first, you dislike me so much because i'm the new girl & obviously, people hate new girl. But being a kid is very fun, as you dont even give a damn about what people think of you. & that is what i did. Until one day, i can't remember how we became friends. & as days goes by, we became close friends & maybe you can call it, bestfriends.
We hang out together almost everyday. We'd talk continuously and laugh histerically, as if the world is ours to own. We curse and yell at each other without feeling nothing, as the bond between us is too strong to be broken. But you know, whenever there's a start there will always be an end. & obviously, we ended our primary school together, happily.
Being in the same highschool is what we've been wanting. Being together, as usual. Going through thick and thin together, no matter what. But we can call all that bullshits. Because you know why ? We got to know seniors, we fell in love, we trusted our boyfriends more than our own bestfriends and there you go, everything disappear in a blink of an eye.
& again, we were separated. But this time, it is based on our own approvement. Nobody stopped us.
We still talk, sometimes. We still share stories, gossips the girlfriends style. But things will never feel the same. We stabbed each other, we lie to each other and most of all, we curse each other. But this time it hurts to every bits of our hearts. Well at least, my heart.
I dont know if i'm the only who's feeling this shitty feeling but yes, i am hurt. I don't put all the blame on you, maybe it was because of my attitude. But i tried my best to stay updated with you guys, to get us back together as we used to. But seems that i fail.
I try to let things go. I learn to accept things the way it is. If you are my true friends, you won't backstab me the way you did. You wont curse me behind my back, thinking i won't know. & most important thing is, you wont accuse me for trying to steal your boyfriend.
Just listen lady, im not interested in your boyfriend, at all. Even if you broke up with him ( take note, IF ) i'm not gonna like him or be with him or whatever. I dont want okay, geddit? So stop accusing me trying to flirt you boyfriend or even worse, trying to steal. Sheesh, God knows how i won't take my friends's exes.
Enough said. I know you people will read this. It's okay, keep on reading. Just don't say anything. I admit, i don't have the guts to face this with you. I just don't want to do it. Nanti apa orang kata, memperbesarkan hal yang kecik eh? Indeed.
What's done is done. If you want to keep ignoring me, it's okay. I guess i'm fine with that. After all, why being friends with people who doesn't like us & forced to ? Being alone is better. I'd rather be alone than being with you people & i'll keep on reminiscing the happy moments we had.
As I said, don't ask me who or why. Things just happen, aite ? & if you're reading this, don't feel sad or mad, I know you are feeling the same. Don't come to me and create a war. I had enough. Just read this and let it be. After all, it's my blog and i am entitled to share feelings here. I just don't have bestfriends to share with anymore.
It's okay.
Feelings change, people leave and life won't stop for anybody. InsyaAllah, we'll be bestfriends again one day.. As for now, don't ask too much. Because if you demand to much, you loses hope too much. Just take care & remember, i'll always be there as a friend whenever you need me.
Till then, xx.
Idiot, why am I in tears.
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