Life

Salam.

Life has been mean towards me lately. Im not happy with my life, im not happy with myself, im not happy with my surroundings. I lost confidence in myself. I cry a lot ; such a crybaby. I dont cry the babies type, i cry my heart out. I act like a ^&$%^ lately. Yeah, I do hate myself at times. I have no one to talk to, no one understands my feelings. Everyone is busy with their own commitment. & they act as if my problem is such a shitzy problem. I fight with people a lot ; mouth fight. I hate it when i hurt my mum's feelings with this such &*%& attitude. Yeah, I do swear a lot to express how horrible i am now. Everyone is pushing me around. They thought im strong while the fact is i am not. Yes, be surprised. I am not strong. At times, i rely on people around me to cheer me up instead of asking myself to cheer up. & at times, i prefer being all alone in a quiet surrounding and im comfortable with that, as i hear no one's voice except my heart's. I stare at the ceilling for hours when im in a terrible badmood. I feel like running and running continuously until i fall by myself. Yeah, people say why regret when you only live once ? Its true but have you heard people saying, repent before its too late, the death comes without any warn. I do change, yeah i do change. But dont expect me to be just the new me every single day. There are days when I am super fine and tremendously happy, but not today. That happy day is not today. You cant expect me to be happy every day, I have my own badmood days. But why people always realize me when im in a badmood but people dont realize me when im extremely happy ? Then they blame me and go saying, ' Ah, setiap hari kau badmood. Setiap hari kau marah '. See people ? You choose to see what you want to see. & im seeing myself in the new Fatin. But as i said, i have my own badmood days. People choose to ruin my mood and my day, and thats when i act &*)$%@. I always say this, i dont do things without a reason. I wont simply get angry and sad without reasons. I wont simply act like a ^%$%#%, without reasons. Give me time, & i'll get back to normal on my own. Just dont, push me.

When I was small, I learn that you need to cry your heart out just to fill your heart with laughters.

Haters, please stop spreading rumours about me. You know its rumours, none of them is true. Sebab itu dipanggil fitnah. & this is my blog, i have my own rights to write what i feel in my blog. Stop judging me, people. No one is perfect, i have my own weakness, and so do you. Please please please learn how to accept me, for who i am. Not for who you want me to be. I aint a puppet.