sorry lama ta update, simptom malas menguasai jiwa dan diri HEHEH.
Haritu aku balik rumah, aku tulis kat whiteboard pasal nak bayar duit kelas, sebab takut nanti lupa nak bagitahu mama bila mama balik kerja. Malam tu tengok dah tukar jadi lain xD
hasil kerja abang tersayang, HAHAH :P
Aku tulis ' Ma , nanti kena bayar yuran kelas, RM 20.00 'smiley dan kosong yang beratur tu , abg aku ler xD dah la smiley tu ada ' nandek ' eh macamtu eh eja ? o.0
Aku jumpa satu blog ni , link from blog Alia Syuhada , thank you (: perempuan ni mengandung, 26 weeks. Dia cerita pasal marriage life, her pregnancy , life dengan baby, cara dia didik baby dalam perut and stuff. Aku terharuuuu gila baca , rasa nak nangis pun ada huhu. Gila Emosional T____T
Masalahnye aku memang terlalu cintakan baby , yang kecik comel baru lahir , yang besar montel macam donut , yang suka merengek tak kira bingit ke tak , SEMUAAA aku suka tengok dan layan ^_^ especially kalau pergi hospital , mesti pergi bahagian baby , tengok newborn baby ke , baby tengah tidur ke.
Tengok baby ni best gila nak mati , sebab muka dorang kecik comel , lepas tu suci daripada segala dosa, so muka dorang tenang SANGAT. bila kita tengok, kita pun rasa tenang je hati dan jiwa , kan kan ? :)
Haaaa yang paling comel bila baby kecik kecik tu baru bangun tidur , mesti mengeliat dengan tangan kecik and bibir kecik halus tu , Ya Subhanallah , tak tercakap perasaan aku tersentuh. And and bila kita para ibu yang baru bersalin , bila dia nak susukan baby dia , mesti dia pandang baby dia tak lepas lepas , lepastu senyum sorang sorang.
Sumpah terpancar wajah kasih sayu keibuan di muka ibu - ibu ni semua. Jelas terpancar wajah ketenangan. Rasa macam terubat perasaan penat setelah bertarung nyawa dalam bilik bedah/bersalin setelah lihat melihat muka anak yang suci :')
Ini laman web akak yang akan menjadi ibu tak lama lagi : http://nurulism.com/
InsyaAllah dengan izin Yang Maha Esa, suatu hari nanti :')
P/S : hahah fatin awak mudaaa lagi. Takpe takpe berfikiran jauh (:
kelam kabut siap pagi tadi, sampai aku tertinggal kertas kelas T___T
pagi-pagi semua dah gaduh pasal pertukaran tempat duduk, aku BERPISAH dengan mariam :'(
Waktu Sivik, cikgu suruh buat surat kepada ibu bapa tentang kita menghargai jasa ibu bapa and stuff. Untuk mak aku dalam 5 - 7 perenggan, ayah aku 1 perenggan je. huuuu.
Waktu rehat , geng-geng biatch tersetia membuat perangai sial dorang as usual.
Waktu Geo, cikgu badmood gila. aku ngantuk gila & sedih gila sebab teman mengantuk geografi setia, Mariam, takde kat sebelah :(
Rindu mariam gila babeng, macam dia pindah kelas padahal dekat je tempat heheh.
Syahirah CUBA untuk kelar tangan guna pisau zie.
Gaduh dengan bestie terbaik haziqah ♥. sampai dia nangis dan aku pun nak nangis. SORRY :'(
Takde mood study waktu sains.
Masa lambat gilaaaaaaaa berjalan harini.
Ada orang tu konon gila beria-ia nak jumpa waktu balik TAPI dia hilang tak jumpa aku. Ah nasib ahh aku balik dulu.
String guitar tak pergi renew lagi , haisyyhh tak boleh main.
stress ke tak ? Terima kasih kpd Barney sebagai penyelamat ! ^_^
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAKLONG ANA & AMRI SEMOGA PANJANG UMUR DAN MURAH REZEKI (: I LAP YOU GUYS ♥
Korang korang, mama masuk hospital lagi. Masa khamis petang, nak gugur jantung aku masa abang ngah call. Mama kena masuk Tropicana Medical, sebab tak cukup zat besi dan darah merah, menyebabkan kekurangan oksigen. So mama tak boleh bernafas and almost pengsan.
Semalam, abah datang jemput aku abang ngah adik dekat rumah waktu petang, nak pegi lawat mama. Nasib baik mama dapat bilik sorang, boleh sofea main sendiri, takde la ganggu pesakit lain. Kitorang sampai je terus kemas bilik sebab bilik bersepah, jaga sofea yang lari macam tak pernah lari, jaga mama mintk urut. Then aku dengan kaklong pegi solat maghrib, abah abang ngah adik balik rumah sebab sofea ngade nakal sangat, mama pun nak rehat.
So aku dengan kaklong jela stay masa tu.
Duduk borak borak dengan mama. Sambil tunggu abang wan dengan atuk nenek cousin suma datang. Masa semua dah sampai, mak ( kakak mama ) suruh kitorang semua duduk kat penjuru bilik, adik papa ( suami mak ) nak doa doa mende tah. sebab dia kata mama kehilangan banyak darah, mungkin hantu raya hisap :o
Haih aku bukan tak caye benda benda halus, aku tak caye mende yang dorang gunakan ni.
Tapi budak kecik kan, apa boleh buat. ikut jela kalau itu dorang rase salah satu penyelesaian. Aku duduk diam jela tengok. Bila suma dah balik, aku kaklong abang wan pegi kedai mamak, mama mintk tolong bungkuskan air milo tarik panas, dalam cawan. So kitorang pergi bungkus air milo tarik.
Tapi sebab kedai mamak takde jenis bungkus cawan, kitorang pegi 7E kat Shell Kota Damansara, nak amek cawan slurpee satu, dengan beli coklat Zip mama.
Sumpah aku cakap kurang ajar ah pekerja2 situ. sekali kene dengan aku dengan kaklong, terdiam. Aku bukan jenis mulut jahat, mulut suka mencaci maki orang tu. tapi bila kau dah tahap melampau, aku pun ada limit. Dahla kitorang penat, kau buat perangai mengalahkan setan. Nak charge tu charge jela, takyah ah nak ejek ejek. pergh aku rasa nak sepak je muka kau laju laju. Kitorang dah bengang gila, terus belah camtu je.
balik hospital, uruskan barang mama sikit and tunggu doktor kejap. Bila doktor tu dah habis check mama, dia kata nanti ada satu lagi doktor pakar jantung akan datang nak check mama. So mama suh kitorang balik dulu cos doktor sorang lagi tu mungkin lambat. Masa kitorang otw nak pegi lif, doktor tu kat kaunter nurse, dia suruh kitorang tunggu dulu sampai doktor pakar tu sampai, sebab mama MUNGKIN akan ditukarkan ke wad ICU.
So kitorang balik bilik mama and tunggu doktor tu. Disebabkan terlalu penat, kaklong tidur atas kerusi, aku tidur atas lantai. Dah tak kira ah, dah ngantuk tahap gaban. Tetibe doktor pakar tu datang, dengan keadaan mamai tu kitorang bangun, nak dengar doktor explain.
Dah habis check check check, doktor bagi ubat tidur kat mama and kitorang kemas kemas nak balik. Masa tu dah pukul 1 T________T and aku dengan kaklong je dua orang balik rumah , kaklong drive. Kitorang tersesat kejap, sebab kaklong tersalah masuk simpang. ' Ter ' masuk kitorang kejap dekat uptown Kota Dam xD
Around 1.15 camtu, selamat sampai rumah alhamdulillah. Mandi terus terjun sebab dah ngantuk gila.
Pagig tadi masa tusyen, tak terkira berapa kali aku menguap. Sejuk + Ngantuk + Lost Focus = Tidur yang lena. HEHEH byebye nak pegi uruskan diri, kejap lagi nak pegi hospital pulak.
P palang S sumpah cerita post ni bosan kan kan ? aku macam dah hilang skill CEHH =="
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Fatin, dont be too sad. Im not going far. Just around kl. We still boleh jumpa every weekend and lepak. I love you.U like my adik.U still have friends here with you. Jgn nangis. Nanti akak balik i buy a kinder bueno okayyy. Please jgn nangis lg. Mata akak da nk bengkak, nanti fatin pun. Akak pun doakan fatin always happy. I'll never forget and always love u babe. Take care. Blajar rajin2 tau. Smile k. - NAWAL.
Huuu rasa bersalah, last jumpa dia masa kat koperasi. She talked to me, but i ignored her cause i was mad. sebab dia tk bgtahu dia nak pergi asrama. that was the last time. and last time cakap dengan dia, i made her cry, cause i was crying. JAHATNYE AKU. sighs missing her badly. lepas ni takde dengar suara dia panggil aku fawwaz everytime dia jumpa aku, aku pun dah tak boleh panggil dia syafiq.
awak, relax la. setiap pertemuan pasti ada perpisahan - susu
