Wordless Wednesday #10 ; My bestest dude, left me alone.

It's one of those days

Assalamualaikum, I shall start.






Pardon me for this all emosional and euw post but I just have to. Yeah. I am feeling down and lonely and tired and hopeless and sad. It's one of those days where the only thing I want to do is sit in a corner and cry. To ignore the world and live my own life. To put aside all the craps i've been getting and just smile all day along.


But no, life ain't that easy. You can't simply wake up in the cold breezy morning and expect that the day will be great for you and expect people around you would be happy as you are. It is so much more than that. It is life. An undefined phrase, something you don't know what it is but you keep on going. Moving on, moving forward. It's just sometimes, you fall into pieces and broken. You tried mending the pieces into one but yet, it keeps on breaking.


That is totally what I am feeling now. Broken. I just couldnt tell with what. Even chocolates could not repair all these.




And I say, to Allah I shall turn. To Him I shall cry, and mourn about everything. As He is the one who will never leave me, and never will get tired of listening. Ya Allah, You are The Most Compassionate....






It's just another emotional breakdown day.

Well, as promised!

Assalamualaikum :)


Okay so, as promised, remember the picture I posted last Wednesday? Well yeah, I'm gonna upload the video :)


Okay so, I'm in the photography club along with my girls. We've been divided into groups & given a task, which is to produce a video. Just a short info on what to do, and must be sent by next 2 weeks. We got so excited about it. We shall call it a masterpiece, when we're done.


The first shooting was done by Haziqah & Nazri, at tutti frutti. We filmed the video until afternoon because eeryone got so tired and stuff, so we decided to do the rest later. But the day we were supposed to continue the shooting, our guy actor got few stuffs to be done so yeah. We changed plans.


We did another video, using balloons and notes and stuff. The concept was exactly the same like the original video, it's just that we used balloons to replace humans. & we decided to create another backup video, which we used humans hahahaa. & the actors were Luqman and I. Yes, luqman form 3. It was kinda awkward though... You know, with a junior :3 But we had to so yeah haha. Thanks luqman, pelakon terjun! He did great, I have to admit.


Okay so well, here's the video. Enjoy...? Hahaha it is not that perfect though, but I shall be happy about this. Eh, gembira sangat okay. Takde bakat seni berlakon atau apa pun, tapi still berjaya buat video ni. It is not perfect yes please understand that hahaa. Kutukan menghina bawa lah diri, kutukan membina datang kemari :)


Enjoy!

iSegan.

Wordless Wednesday #9 ; One by one, leaving.

Happy 2 years and 2 months, sayang! To infinity and beyond, insyaAllah :)

A little bit of justice is enough

Assalamualaikum :)




Okay here's a post, I don't mean to be harsh but I am just stating out my opinions. What I feel.  Honestly, rasa tak puas hati dengan budak budak yang dapat tawaran asrama but dorang tak dapat straight A's in their pmr.


Oh wow chill, no hating here. Dont bash me or whtever.


I feel it is kinda unfair for me ; us who managed to get straight. Because we studied our arse off, facing parents' anger everyday asking us to study, going to tuition even at night just to get our head focus in the game, buckets of homeworks to be done and prep classes and all stuffs. Just to get freaking 8 excellent grades. And yet, we didnt get any of the offer letter? See from the logical side now, please.


I am disappointed. I dont mind, it's your future. But be considerate..... please. Why do you think we studied our arse off to get those grades? So that we could burn the slip result later? Or just framed it and show it to our grandchildrens later? No obviously, no. We wanted to get into the boarding schools aswell, to get a brighter future.


I don't mind if you want to use backways. You want to use cables or your uncle is one of the ministers and you have the power to choose which school you want and what so ever but you dont get qualified results to do so. It pisses me off. It pisses everybody off! Because it is totally unfair.


What I mean is you don't get at least 7A's and above and you still get the offer letter? Eh, hello?


I ain't boasting bout my result or trying to show off that I deserve everything more than everybody in the world. But this piece of my heart is disappointed. & whilst you enjoying yourself being in the new school, I am suffering here. Why? Because the spots at boarding schools are full, some are because of people like you. 


Tapi macam ada sesetengah orang cakap, lain orang lain rezeki. Mungkin takdir awak macamtu, mungkin takdir awak sekarang awak berada di pusingan roda yang atas. Takpelah, redha dan bersyukur. Saya terima kenyataan cuma saya kecewa. Itu je.


I'm sorry if anyone is offended by this post, I dont have the intention to do so. What I'm trying to express here is only my disappointments. Thats all.

God knows the best.

Assalamualaikum. I just feel like sharing this, with everyone. This is a good example on WHY we must be grateful with everything. Everything.

Me: God, can I ask You a question?

God: Sure

Me: Promise You won't get mad

God: I promise

Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do u mean?

Me: Well, I woke up late

God: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start

God: Okay

Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait

God: Huummm

Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

God: All right

Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?

God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that

Me (humbled): OH

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

Me: (ashamed)

God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.

Me (embarrassed):Okay

God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

Me (softly): I see God

God: Oh and that foot massager , it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I'm Sorry God

God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.

Me: I will trust You.

God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.

Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.

God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Creature...

Far in real world, forever in our world.

Tak tertahan rindu di hati,
Untukmu sang teruna yang diriku sayangi,
Benar jarak memisahkan dua hati,
Namun dirimu tetap tiada pengganti.








I made this in the midnight, when I really miss him.

Wordless Wednesday #8 ; Nantikan video kitorang!

To show love

Assalamualaikum :)


Tengah hari tadi mama balik kerja, tengok dekat tangan mama ada 3 bouquet (lupa lah bouquet dalam BM apa -.-) bunga.. So aku macam excited lah, setiap kali dapat bunga memang excited. Tengok tengok je.... aku terus jerit! Aaaa memang excited gila okay. Mama beli 3, setiap sorang untuk adik beradik. Sofea kecik lagi so tkyah, nanti dia tk faham pun :p


Nak tau mama beli apa?

Bunga lavender. Suka!

Contest Blog Paling Kemas

Another one, leaving.

Assalamualaikum.




Semalam & hari ni, memang hari yang sangat bosan. Semalam, sorang lagi bestest girlfriend masuk asrama. An-nisaa, daftar dekat Mrsm Pengkalan Chepa, Kelantan. Ahhhhh why so far...


Dekat kelas memang bosan gila. Takde lagi budak nak kacau atau memekak sama-sama. Oh man, I really do miss her voice, jokes and annoying attitude.


Balik sekolah tu tengok tengok ada missed call daripada An-nisaa. Terus cepat cepat call dia! She seemed so excited you know. I'm happy if she's happy :) Borak borak pasal dorm dia, baju, kelas, phones and hot boys. Lol seriously the last topic, will forever be our favourite topic *cough :p


Call dalam 10 minit macamtu je sebab dia nak pergi lunch & aku kena rush pergi koko :( But anyways, dia cakap Mrsm dia boleh pegang phone so kalau siapa siapa rindu dia tu, message jela dia okay. Hahaha. Take care hyper girl!

She MMS-ed me this picture using her mom's phone.

She looks so pretty! I'm proud of her.

New thing

Assalamualaikum.




Sabtu lepas kalau tk silap, mama belikan set maths budak budak untuk Sofea yang orang panggil abacus teww~ Eh camtu eh eja abacus...? Ah apa apa jela, janji faham. So hari tu dia main main ketuk benda tu dekat lantai lepas pangggg! patah terus okay. Batang benda tu plastik so I guess memang senang patah. Semua biji biji dia tu berterabur... So aku kumpul semua warna purple & bawak lari naik bilik! Buat apa dengan benda tu?

Simple tapi suka! Hihi.

Another lost

Assalamualaikum :)


Sabtu haritu kitorang ramai ramai pergi tutti frutti kat TSB sebab nak shooting video untuk kelab fotografi. & ni kira last hang out dengan An-Nisaa sebelum dia masuk MRSM Pengkalan Chepa, Kelantan. Kelantan ye..


It was tiring but we had so much fun. Total havoc when we're together. Please, enjoy the pictures.

Le excited faces~

The actors.

First try Tutti Frutti, dua cup terus dia beli.

Baru rakam sikit je, dah excited nak tengok balik (Y)

Eh.

Recording An-Nisaa's farewell video.

Dorang macam geng Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

LOVE.

Forever them ♥

Behind the scene.

Bak kata fawwaz, "Ni nak jadi power rangers ke?"

& do the creep!!

An-Nisaa! ♥

I wont let you go~

Group hug, nangis ramai ramai.

She cried & Aunty Melati said, "Nanti jumpa lagi! :)"

Shooting Day 2.

If the sky is falling, just take my hand and hold it - James Morrison

Berilah aku kekuatan

Assalamualaikum :)




Fuh, penat. Bukan penat fizikal, tapi penat mental. Emosi. Orang sekeliling ramai yang badmood, so secara tak langsung pass negative force dekat aku. Ceh hahaha padahal memang diri sendiri penat lately. Emosi tk stabil, fikiran tk tentu. Kadang kadang nak gelak, kadang kadang nak nangis, kadang kadang rasa kecewa melampau. Eh tak, bukan gila. Sawan je kot.




Bukan tk bersyukur, tapi kadang kadang dapat straight A's pun susah. Kan? Tk dapat straight A's lagi lah susah. Happy, bersyukur tu semua memang. Rasa macam dunia ni kita punya kejap. Tapi tengoklah life budak budak straight A's sekarang? Ada yang masuk asrama, tk boleh cope. Dapat asrama bukan yang kita mohon. Atau yang paling teruk, tak dapat asrama and still kena stay sekolah sama.


Macam aku lah.


Bak kata An-Nisaa, bukan tk dapat tapi belum dapat :) InsyaAllah, berharap sangat untuk second intake. Tapi... benda macam ni pun boleh buat gaduh antara family kan? Kita nak sekolah lain, family nak kita masuk sekolah lain. Memang orang kata, sekolah mana mana pun sama je. Asalkan belajar. Eh kalau kau tk selesa dengan environment sekolah tu, kau boleh belajar? Baik macamtu takyah tubuhkan sekolah asrama sekolah elit sekolah semi-boarding, semua orang sekolah harian je. Kan kau kata sama je?


Dorang nak straight A's, dua exam besar aku dah bagi. Tapi.. susah ke.. aku cuma mintak sekolah yang aku nak.. yang aku selesa nak belajar. Sebab yang pergi masuk sekolah tu aku, bukan dorang! Yang happy, yang seksa, yang derita, yang gembira semua aku yang akan lalui. Dorang nanti cuma expect aku study hard and again, another straight A's.


Tapi kalau aku tk selesa, macam mana...? They expect me to give my everything, I did. I just hope for this in return.. Susah ke.. Sigh. I see myself as a rebel now, because I seemed to see people around me are not trying to understand me and they never will. I don't apply for top schools. Aku tak apply seri puteri tunku kurshiah or sekolah tun fatimah macam yang orang lain apply. Reason? Aku nak belajar dekat tempat yang aku selesa, bukannya masuk top school lepastu bajet pandai padahal habuk tarak.


I just don't think my family will understand this problem of mine. All they know is blaming everything on me. They don't try to explore what I've been keeping inside me. They trusted the fake smiles and laughters I gave, so easily. Aku pun dah give up nak explain atau luahkan, kalau akhirnya kena judge pun buat apa kan. Baik pendam, kunci terus.


Ya Allah, Engkau berilah aku kekuatan untuk menghadapi semua ini. Aku percaya, ada hikmah di sebalik ini. Jika Engkau izinkan untuk aku mengubah takdirku, aku mohon makbulkanlah doa-doaku selama ini. Sesungguhnya hidup, mati & ibadahku hanyalah untuk-Mu...


Kenapa aku cerita semua ni kat sini? Eh sukahatila, blog aku. Besides, it makes me feel a little bit better. At least I know, this blog won't judge.








Signing off.

Ya Allah, sesungguhnya hidupku, matiku dan ibadahku hanyalah untuk-Mu

Salam Maulidur Rasul

Salam Maulidur Rasul untuk semua umat Islam di serata muka bumi! :) Sempena hari yang mulia ni, banyak banyakkan beribadah & kurangkan mencarut atau amalan jahat. Berselawat banyak banyak ke atas Nabi Muhammad S.A.W :) Ingatlah, kematian datang tanpa memberi amaran. Sudah cukupkah amalan kita untuk bertemu dengan-Nya?

Selamat beribadah! :)

Changes

Semalam ada sikit salah faham dengan dia. He has been busy and I have been pushing him for attention. Susah, long distance ni. Entah macam mana, aku tertuduh dia something. Aku hilang sabar, dia penat. So kitorang macam gaduh. Lepastu, dia cakap.....


"Awak sendiri cakap, kepercayaan tu penting dalam hubungan. Kenapa awak tk boleh percaya kita?!"






Tersentak. I feel bad.

Envy

Semua kawan kawan brp yang dah pergi asrama, semua cakap best. Jealousnya. I'm happy for them :) Baguslah kalau dorang boleh adapt dengan new life. Tapi.... bila agaknya sampai masa untuk aku lalui benda sama juga? 




Ya Allah, kau makbulkan lah doa hamba-Mu ini....

*raises eyebrows*

Cikgu Salma, Class, Fatin




Kenapa awak belajar Biology? Mesti nak jadi doktor kan?
Taaaaaaaaaak
Habis tu kenapa? Nak jadi pharmacist?
Nak jadi isteri yang solehah xD
Then why awak belajar Bio?
Mak suruh.
Hahahahahahahahaha.






This is just for fun. I was all hyper during Biology class and I cant wait to get married hahahahahaha. Peace.

February-y-y

I always seek for Allah's blessings.

I'm hoping for boarding school second intake.

For a healthy life for and family.

For a strong relationship between me and fawwaz.

For love bond between me and friends.

For, happiness.

YOU SHALL BE A GREAT MONTH! ♥

Wordless Wednesday #6 ; Stay strong.